How to ask questions in a forum!! Newbees and exp. people pay attention!

[stecal]

Top ten list of posters who are fair game:
10) Anyone who claims to be an OCP DBA asking questions about how to upgrade or get certified.
9) Anyone who claims to be an OCP asking questions like, "What is OFA?" (Another area covered by the exams.)
8) Anyone starting certification who has yet to read certification requirements, test procedures, etc. available at Oracle's website.
7) Anyone who claims to be an OCP/senior DBA/database architect asking questions that have answers that are so blatantly obvious or easy to find that it leaves you wondering how they have the gall to use those titles.
6) Anyone who over rates himself ("Brainbench certified for 3,512 tests" comes to mind).
5) Anyone named ******* because he/she has exceeded the forum limit on stupid questions, here and elsewhere.
4) Anyone claiming to be an Oracle DBA who doesn't own several reference books or know where to find **free** documentation.
3) Anyone who starts a thread using the word "guru" (Dear Guru's...).
2) Anyone who claims to be an Oracle DBA asking questions about backup and recovery, where the question is usually prompted by a media failure and that person realizes he/she has no backup, and has never had one to begin with.
1.5) Anyone who claims to be a consultant coming here begging for URGENT or IMMEDIATE help for a paper, project, or recommendation due in 90 minutes, unless that person is willing to make arrangements for personal payment to my PayPal account.
1) Anyone who uses export/import as their one and only backup strategy.