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Anyone like to contribute to my collection of "great lies"?
"The cheque is in the post."
"Of course I will respect you in the morning."
"Hello, I'm from head office. I'm here to help you."
(from the performing arts)
"OK, once again from the top and this time I won't stop you."
"We'll do the documentation afterwards."
"Database going down for Maintainance."
Here's the Dilbert top 5
1. "Employees are our most valuable assets"
2. "I have an open-door policy."
3. "You could earn more money under the new plan."
4. "We're reorganizing to better serve our customers."
5. "The future is bright."
How could have I missed that one? I received a "vision" statement, which included that, in a silver frame 6 months before I was restructured.Quote:
Originally posted by jovery
1. "Employees are our most valuable assets"
Well we have "the check is in the mail", how bout
1) I love you.
2) I won't c*m in your mouth.
3) I already re-booted
Just for starters.
MH
These two might be unique to my situation:
1. code migrations will happen only on tuesday's and friday's at 3pm
2. we'll discuss and design before we implement. We'll use a project plan.
On the personal side
1. "I don't want anything for my birthday."
- my wife, weeks after we purchased our first house in 1993 and was scrounging around for food money.
... and the associated "Whatever you get me will be special, because it comes from you!"Quote:
Originally posted by gopi
"I don't want anything for my birthday."
From my professional experience ...
"The government is going to move fast on this issue"
When your supervisor comes asking for the task assigned to you, and you say,
"that is on my schedule"
Of course we tested it.
Corollary to the "We're here to help you" lie:
"We're glad you're here."
How abt a DBA saying "I dunoo how much DBs I support"? ( I wud say it wud be his / her attitude to show up )
I'm only going to have one drink.
Size doesn't matter.
I don't understand, that's never happened to me before!
I'd be delighted to have your mother spend the weekend with us.
No, your bum doesn't look big in that.