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Thread: Joke

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    San Francisco, California
    Posts
    511

    Joke

    A man wanted to win the lottery. He got down on his knees to pray on Tuesday, because Wednesday was the drawing. He prayed and prayed and prayed, frantically. To no avail; Wednesday’s drawing came and went and he was not a winner. The following Tuesday, once again he prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed. But none of the prayers helped; the lottery prize went to someone else.

    The following Tuesday, he got down on his knees again, praying desperately, praying to win the lottery. Suddenly, a voice boomed from above: “Murray!” The man responded hopefully, “Yes Lord?” “Murray! Meet me half way? Buy a ticket! THEN we can talk about winning…”
    Remember the Golden Rule - He who has the gold makes the rules!
    ===================
    Kris109
    Ph.D., OCP 8i, 9i, 10g, 11g DBA

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Posts
    3,134
    BOOOOoooooo. C'mon kris, I expect more from someone who has to put her PhD in her signature.


    Here is one with more impact...



    Q): What is grey and comes in quarts?



















    Give up?













    A): Elephants!





    Mr.Hanky
    Oracle 8 Certified Professional.
    Guitar Player Extrodinaire.
    G.E.D. 1991
    I remember when this place was cool.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
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    Posts
    511
    Good one.. MH. I found this joke in one of the Oracle white papers on Statspack and I thought more people should enjoy it. The point was.. run the statspack, which is inexpensive, before expecting a performance bonanza, which is the lottery.

    Just to clarify the gender confusion.. I am a 'he' not a she. My signature should have given a clue. Moreover would a 'she' talk like a sailor?
    Remember the Golden Rule - He who has the gold makes the rules!
    ===================
    Kris109
    Ph.D., OCP 8i, 9i, 10g, 11g DBA

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Geneva Switzerland
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    Originally posted by kris109
    Moreover would a 'she' talk like a sailor?
    Apparently the 'shes' that Mr.H knows would.


    DaPi
    Film Star (2004)
    "I have two O-levels and a budgerigar"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
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    Originally posted by DaPi
    Apparently the 'shes' that Mr.H knows would.


    DaPi
    Film Star (2004)
    "I have two O-levels and a budgerigar"
    HEY!! Let's not bring my mother into this!!
    That is off limits!!



    MH


    Ps. In my experience most men spell Chris as Chris, short for Christopher. Kris is usually short for Kristine, Krissy, Kristin, ect...

    Darn these language barriers and cultural differences.
    I remember when this place was cool.

  6. #6
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    David Aldridge,
    "The Oracle Sponge"

    Senior Manager, Business Intelligence Development
    XM Satellite Radio
    Washington, DC

    Oracle ACE

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
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    Originally posted by slimdave
    Ref: Elephants

    http://216.239.41.104/search?q=cache...hl=en&ie=UTF-8
    More intersting than the RMAN manual . . . .

  8. #8
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    Colorado Springs
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    Originally posted by DaPi
    More intersting than the RMAN manual . . . .
    I searched google for "elephant manual ejaculate" and found this interesting report.

    http://hal.boku.ac.at/vuw/en_search_...ect_id_in=4105
    David Aldridge,
    "The Oracle Sponge"

    Senior Manager, Business Intelligence Development
    XM Satellite Radio
    Washington, DC

    Oracle ACE

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
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    3,134
    Kris!!

    Do you see what you started now!!

    Oh the shame of it all.



    MH
    I remember when this place was cool.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Posts
    3,134
    Originally posted by slimdave
    I searched google for "elephant manual ejaculate" and found this interesting report.

    http://hal.boku.ac.at/vuw/en_search_...ect_id_in=4105

    And you thought your job was miserable. How would you like to be the guy that has to measure this stuff!? How does one go about manually extracting and measuring an Elephants load?

    Maybe Jeff can help on this one?

    MH
    I remember when this place was cool.

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