How to confuse developers

[stmontgo]

Working late and thought I would open this thread, the need for which is long overdue. Let's get a list going.

> Change synonyms so they point to wrong objects
> Tell them there is something called exception handling

[stancho]

-Make statstics on the half of the objects, next week delete them and make statistics on the other half
-Delete the row in dual, or make dual in the schema of the developers with no row - when they come complaining, you will use sys.dual and all will be fine (for you)

[jovery]

For maximum confusion...

-Be nice to them
-Agree with thier ideas

[stmontgo]

Originally posted by stancho
-Make statstics on the half of the objects, next week delete them and make statistics on the other half

that's golden! how about a fucntion that gens stats randomly for each object on the hour

[Mr.Hanky]

Well, here is a TRUE story that a project manager told me he did.

One of our applications release requests was so asinine/insane that his DBA at the time actually broke down in his cube over this. He actually got permission from his Systems Manager to let them do whatever they wanted and not enforce ANY business rules or RDBMS restrictions on them; he removed the DBA department from the design process entirely and let them go for it.

Needless to say they never made it past the first test phase and then humbly asked for our input into this release. Very funny and true!! I love know it all developers that think we are doing nothing but restricting them, let the lunatics run the asylum once in a while, why not?

MH

[DaPi]

Originally posted by stancho
-Delete the row in dual, or make dual in the schema of the developers with no row - when they come complaining, you will use sys.dual and all will be fine (for you)

I seem to remember two posts here - one had dropped dual, the other had managed to get two rows in it!

[gopi]

Originally posted by stmontgo

> Change synonyms so they point to wrong objects

Add database link to the table definition in the synonym. In the remote database have zero rows in the table.

[slimdave]

Create a table csalled "table" with a column called "union", and a table called "union" with a column called "table",
than ...

create view "view"
as
select "table" from "union"
union all
select "union" all from "table"