The great lies
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Thread: The great lies

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Geneva Switzerland
    Posts
    3,142

    The great lies

    Anyone like to contribute to my collection of "great lies"?


    "The cheque is in the post."

    "Of course I will respect you in the morning."

    "Hello, I'm from head office. I'm here to help you."

    (from the performing arts)
    "OK, once again from the top and this time I won't stop you."

    "We'll do the documentation afterwards."

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    New Delhi, INDIA
    Posts
    1,796
    "Database going down for Maintainance."
    Amar
    "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path."

    Amar's Blog  Get Firefox!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Up s**t creek
    Posts
    1,525
    Here's the Dilbert top 5

    1. "Employees are our most valuable assets"

    2. "I have an open-door policy."

    3. "You could earn more money under the new plan."

    4. "We're reorganizing to better serve our customers."

    5. "The future is bright."
    Jim
    Oracle Certified Professional
    "Build your reputation by helping other people build theirs."

    "Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit but its still funny"

    Click HERE to vist my website!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Geneva Switzerland
    Posts
    3,142
    Originally posted by jovery
    1. "Employees are our most valuable assets"
    How could have I missed that one? I received a "vision" statement, which included that, in a silver frame 6 months before I was restructured.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2001
    Posts
    3,131
    Well we have "the check is in the mail", how bout

    1) I love you.
    2) I won't c*m in your mouth.
    3) I already re-booted

    Just for starters.

    MH
    I remember when this place was cool.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Location
    Keene, NH
    Posts
    510
    These two might be unique to my situation:

    1. code migrations will happen only on tuesday's and friday's at 3pm
    2. we'll discuss and design before we implement. We'll use a project plan.

    On the personal side
    1. "I don't want anything for my birthday."
    - my wife, weeks after we purchased our first house in 1993 and was scrounging around for food money.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Colorado Springs
    Posts
    5,253
    Originally posted by gopi
    "I don't want anything for my birthday."
    ... and the associated "Whatever you get me will be special, because it comes from you!"

    From my professional experience ...

    "The government is going to move fast on this issue"
    David Aldridge,
    "The Oracle Sponge"

    Senior Manager, Business Intelligence Development
    XM Satellite Radio
    Washington, DC

    Oracle ACE

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Maryland, USA
    Posts
    409
    When your supervisor comes asking for the task assigned to you, and you say,

    "that is on my schedule"
    Last edited by patel_dil; 09-09-2003 at 10:52 AM.
    -- Dilip

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    Germany
    Posts
    1,185
    Of course we tested it.
    David Knight
    OCP DBA 8i, 9i, 10g

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    2,645
    Corollary to the "We're here to help you" lie:

    "We're glad you're here."

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